The Night Dragons have line breaks wherever they damn well please!


Lots of time passed
Enough that you probably forgot what was happening in the story.
Still, The Night
Dragons, in their molten lava form
Remained locked in mortal combat
Against The Dragon of the Night.  Any hope of a swift victory was
Now that The Night Dragons
Saw that The
Dragon of the Night was
Essentially impervious to harm.  As such, they were
Around for something they could use as a weapon–it was clear by the-
N that they knew they couldn’t just lava the thing to death–but
Unfortunately, just about everything
The area had been smashed into
Extremely small and useless fragments.
Clearly The Night Dragons were going to need to
Rethink their strategy.  Deep
Inside The Lava The Night Dragon’s
Viscera, our heroes argu-
Ed about the
Next strategy
To try.  Mostly they argue that there were no good strategies to try.
Undaunted, the last The
Night Dragon to be absorbed by The Lava The Night Dragon offered a
Plan, and she was willing to shout this plan
Over and over until
Everyone stopped trying to shout over her and actually listened to the stupid thing.
Mainly, she just wanted to stall until another Deus
Ex Machina showed up
And saved the day.
Clearly this plan wasn’t actually wo-
Rth shouting
Over and over over everyone else, as it was actually a pretty
Tupid plan, but she felt like
It was the best option they had.
Quantitatively speaking, I’d say banking on something
Expected to deal with the single largest
Evil in the k-
Nown universe had approximately no chance of working.
Far-fetched is what I’m saying.
Really, though, their giant Lava The Night Dragon body had just had its
Arms ripped off.
Now The Dragon of the Night had their right arm
Clamped in its jaws
And was using
It to
Slap them across th-
E face repeatedly
Couldn’t actually fe-
El the
Slaps on account of how
TThe Lava The Night Dragon didn’t have a central nervous system,
And even if it had, I mean, how would they all have been hooked u-
P into it at the same time?  That doesn’t
Even make sense.  B-
Ut still, it was jarring being sla-
Pped a-
Round with your own hand like that.  So th-
Ey started running away.  But they hand to run away kind of
Slowly because they were this big, huge, super destructive thing and they didn’t want to destroy stuff bigly, huge-
Ly or superly.  The Dragon of the Night was thus able to chase after them and continue hitting them without much trouble.
At least it was able to until it started laughing super hard because of the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.  Then the lava arm fell out of its
Mouth and the game was over.  It was time for it to start
Eviscerating the crap out of them.  To that end, The Dragon of The Night lept up into the air so high that
It went past where the air ends, sunk a c-
Law into the moon, and came p-
Lummeting down moon-first on The Lava The Night Dragon.  Th-
E moon smashed their collective face into the gro-
Und.  Lava splatte-
Everywhere.  The Night Dragons still didn’t a-
Ctually feel any pain, because t-
Hhey still didn’t share in the nerv-
System that didn’t
Exist.  But what they
Did feel was terror.  Because, even though they were probably
All already dead, or at least somethi-
Ng like it, they
Had just had their collective heads smashed
In by the moon.  And that’s
Scary.  Plus
There was a giant The Dragon
Of the Night on top of them, holding a recently-smashed-
In-half moon and t-
Rying to decide how b-
Est to move forward with its brutal mur-
Dering of them,
Even though they probab-
Ly weren’t actually alive anyways.  The
Horrible monster just kind of posed there menacingly for a long time.  Way longer that it needed to, since it made its m-
Method-decision after like two seconds.  It was
Almost like it was tryi-
Ng to stall to he-
Ighten the
Tension.  Or like it was waiting for a Deus
Ex Machina of its own.  Or something.

The Night Dragon(s) get(s) a thorough beatdown


The Dragon of the Night hit The Lava The Night Dragon
In its lava face
With its (non-lava) tail
Sending The Lava The Night Dragon sprawling to the ground.
The Dragon of the Night was burned slightly about the scales
In the places where it had made contact with the lava
But it really wasn’t enough of a burn to matter
And The Dragon of the Night was too angry and dangerous to care anyways.
The Lava The Night Dragon pushed itself up to its knees
And was kicked in the stomach
Then pushed itself up farther
And got kicked even harder.
Things were not going well.
All of the Dead The Night Dragons inside The Lava The Night Dragon
Were disconnected from any pain receptors The Lava The Night Dragon had,
If a giant being composed of lava could,
In fact,
Feel pain.
Which it almost certainly couldn’t,
As this was clearly a golem-type situation.
But while we were distracted thinking about lava pain,
The Lava The Night Dragon was getting body slammed
On top of some buildings with those spikes on the top
That are supposed to be for lightning or planes or something
But are really just there for impaling giant monsters
During the inevitable giant monster battle.
It turned out that The Night Dragons were not very good at piloting their golem-thing
As they hadn’t yet come up with a system for working together
That didn’t involved bickering and attacking each other.
Something had to be done,
As The Dragon of the Night was throwing a bunch of trucks at them
As they hung,
On some random tall building.
Some of the trucks had gasoline tanks.
Those ones exploded pretty good
When they crashed into the person made of lava.
They were going to need to generate another Deus Ex Machina
For themselves,
In addition to the previous,
Generally ineffective Deus Ex Machinas
That they’d been working with to that point.
But perhaps,
Thought The Night Dragon,
(The first one,
Who you met about a thousand chapters ago)
They were going about things the wrong way.
Perhaps they didn’t need a Deus Ex Machina.
Perhaps they needed a The Night Dragon Ex Machina.
Or a Deus Ex The Night Dragon.
Or maybe a The Night Dragon Ex The Night Dragon.
The point was to believe in yourself,
I guess?
I’m not really clear on the underlying plan.

Afterlife of The Night Dragon(s)


The Night Dragon awoke quite suddenly
In a strange,
Glowing red room.
The Night Dragon was there.
So was The Night Dragon,
The Night Dragon,
The Night Dragon,
And you get the idea.
They were all there.
The most recently deceased amongst them,
The Night Dragon,
Was like:
“Am I dead?”
To which the raccoon The Night Dragon responded:
And the vampire The Night Dragon,
Who was used to the fact that the raccoon The Night Dragon
Had recently learned to speak,
Elaborated thusly:
“We’re pretty sure we all died.
“We’re also pretty sure the lava we fell in was magic.”
At which point the Order of the Militant Grammarians The Night Dragon interjected:
“It was magma.
“It was underground when we fell in.”
Which led the evil The Night Dragon to stab him in the face,
Which didn’t do anything,
Lending credence to the idea that they were all already dead.
The Night Dragon,
Being dead,
Was cured of her medical inability to be daunted.
She was,
A conversation began immediately.
The long and short of that conversation,
Which was long in content
But short in time
Because of the apocalyptic situation going on outside,
Was that now that they were all dead
And didn’t have to worry about being killed any more,
And were furthermore in control of a giant lava person
They were going to use their giant lava power to defeat
The Dragon of the Night
Once and for all.
It seemed,
To The Night Dragon,
To be a better plan than all of the other ones they’d tried,
Which were pretty much all doomed from the get-go.
There was a problem,
It turned out that,
While they were having this long and short conversation inside the body of the lava person
The Dragon of The Night was still in the world outside
And it was beating the crap out of the lava person
With its various dragonly appendages.

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