The Night Dragon(s) get(s) a thorough beatdown


The Dragon of the Night hit The Lava The Night Dragon
In its lava face
With its (non-lava) tail
Sending The Lava The Night Dragon sprawling to the ground.
The Dragon of the Night was burned slightly about the scales
In the places where it had made contact with the lava
But it really wasn’t enough of a burn to matter
And The Dragon of the Night was too angry and dangerous to care anyways.
The Lava The Night Dragon pushed itself up to its knees
And was kicked in the stomach
Then pushed itself up farther
And got kicked even harder.
Things were not going well.
All of the Dead The Night Dragons inside The Lava The Night Dragon
Were disconnected from any pain receptors The Lava The Night Dragon had,
If a giant being composed of lava could,
In fact,
Feel pain.
Which it almost certainly couldn’t,
As this was clearly a golem-type situation.
But while we were distracted thinking about lava pain,
The Lava The Night Dragon was getting body slammed
On top of some buildings with those spikes on the top
That are supposed to be for lightning or planes or something
But are really just there for impaling giant monsters
During the inevitable giant monster battle.
It turned out that The Night Dragons were not very good at piloting their golem-thing
As they hadn’t yet come up with a system for working together
That didn’t involved bickering and attacking each other.
Something had to be done,
As The Dragon of the Night was throwing a bunch of trucks at them
As they hung,
On some random tall building.
Some of the trucks had gasoline tanks.
Those ones exploded pretty good
When they crashed into the person made of lava.
They were going to need to generate another Deus Ex Machina
For themselves,
In addition to the previous,
Generally ineffective Deus Ex Machinas
That they’d been working with to that point.
But perhaps,
Thought The Night Dragon,
(The first one,
Who you met about a thousand chapters ago)
They were going about things the wrong way.
Perhaps they didn’t need a Deus Ex Machina.
Perhaps they needed a The Night Dragon Ex Machina.
Or a Deus Ex The Night Dragon.
Or maybe a The Night Dragon Ex The Night Dragon.
The point was to believe in yourself,
I guess?
I’m not really clear on the underlying plan.

Afterlife of The Night Dragon(s)


The Night Dragon awoke quite suddenly
In a strange,
Glowing red room.
The Night Dragon was there.
So was The Night Dragon,
The Night Dragon,
The Night Dragon,
And you get the idea.
They were all there.
The most recently deceased amongst them,
The Night Dragon,
Was like:
“Am I dead?”
To which the raccoon The Night Dragon responded:
And the vampire The Night Dragon,
Who was used to the fact that the raccoon The Night Dragon
Had recently learned to speak,
Elaborated thusly:
“We’re pretty sure we all died.
“We’re also pretty sure the lava we fell in was magic.”
At which point the Order of the Militant Grammarians The Night Dragon interjected:
“It was magma.
“It was underground when we fell in.”
Which led the evil The Night Dragon to stab him in the face,
Which didn’t do anything,
Lending credence to the idea that they were all already dead.
The Night Dragon,
Being dead,
Was cured of her medical inability to be daunted.
She was,
A conversation began immediately.
The long and short of that conversation,
Which was long in content
But short in time
Because of the apocalyptic situation going on outside,
Was that now that they were all dead
And didn’t have to worry about being killed any more,
And were furthermore in control of a giant lava person
They were going to use their giant lava power to defeat
The Dragon of the Night
Once and for all.
It seemed,
To The Night Dragon,
To be a better plan than all of the other ones they’d tried,
Which were pretty much all doomed from the get-go.
There was a problem,
It turned out that,
While they were having this long and short conversation inside the body of the lava person
The Dragon of The Night was still in the world outside
And it was beating the crap out of the lava person
With its various dragonly appendages.

The Lava The Night Dragon


The thing that was there

Behind The Night Dragon

Was made of molten lava.

It was about five hundred feet tall,

And it was vaguely anthropomorphic.

That’s right.

It was:

The Night Dragon.

Like, a bunch of them.

All melted together

In magical lava form

And stomping towards them like a creature

Of unadulterated,

Flaming fury.

It was also destroying everything in its path,

Like even worse than The Dragon of the Night had destroyed it,

Because in addition to being this gigantic,

Super-heavy thing,

It was also about a billion degrees hot

And most things can’t handled being walked on

By a gigantic,

Super-heavy thing,

That happens to also be a billion degrees hot.

The Dragon of the Night,

Being in the middle of a huge temper tantrum,

Didn’t notice The Lava The Night Dragon approaching

Until The Lava The Night Dragon punched it

Right in its stupid,




Dragon head.

Then it started crying a whole bunch more because,

In addition to being super sad about missing out on whatever that Pokemon was,

It was also super in pain for being punch

By a super-big fist that was a million degrees hot.


While it was crying,

The Lava The Night Dragon was pressing its advantage

By punching The Dragon of the Night a whole bunch more times

In all its various dragon parts.

The Night Dragon hopped on her motorcycle,

Which she was already on,

And drove up onto a big platform thing that was conveniently placed next to

The Lava The Night Dragon

So that she could converse with the giant creature,

Which she had somehow figured out was composed of her former allies

Despite the fact that it just looked like a giant sentient lava blob person.

Unfortunately for her,

The Lava The Night Dragon wasn’t used to being super huge,

Nor used to being made of lava,

So it didn’t notice her approach,

And furthermore it didn’t notice just how close it was

To the big platform that was conveniently placed near it.

It took a step backwards,

Preparing a punch like you wouldn’t believe,

And stepped right onto said conveniently placed big platform,

Melting the crap out of it,

Including The Night Dragon and her motorcycle.


You know,

A little good news,

A little bad news.


Luckily for everyone!

The Dragon of the Night had stopped crying.

Unluckily for everyone,

It had decided to redirect the effort

That it had been spending on crying

On killing instead.

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