Escape of The Night Dragon(s)


The Dragon of The Night wandered through the town

As slowly as it possibly could,

Because each of its strides were so large that,

By taking a single step

It was violating the Pokemon GO speed limit.

It caught a bunch of new Pokemon

But not Phanpy.

The cute little elephant thing seemed to elude its grasp.

All the while,

The Night Dragon followed The Dragon of the Night

On a motorcycle,

Shouting things at it like

“Don’t you want to go back underground and play?”

But it didn’t want to go back underground to play.

It didn’t like it underground.

There wasn’t nearly enough stuff to smash down there.



It stopped walking.

There was something there.

The Night Dragon waited

While the Dragon of The Night swiped endlessly at its giant phone.

The wait was long.

The Dragon of The Night couldn’t manage a very good curveball on account of its talons

And evidently whatever it was trying to catch was elusive.

Finally, after what seemed like six hundred thousand hours of trying,

The Dragon of The Night roared with a rage

So violent

That a nearby mountain sublimated instantly,

And everyone who lived near that mountain

Had to breathe mountain-gas instead of air

And that killed them.

You can’t breathe mountain-gas.

It’s like the worst gas.

The Dragon of The Night started stomping around,

Each stomp so stompy that it cause an earthquake thousands of miles away

Through the magic of plate tectonics.

The Night Dragon shouted as loudly as she could.

She shouted these words,

To be specific:

“What happened?”

The Dragon of the Night stopped stomping

And looked down at her.

“There was a thing!

“A legendary thing!

“And it ran away!”

And then it resumed stomping,

Probably even harder than before.

The Night Dragon was reasonably sure

That it was crying.

Clearly she needed a new plan.

But she didn’t have a new plan.

That was literally her only plan.


(We’re just going to assume she’s undaunted from now on,

since she has that medical condition that was described earlier)

She spun around pointlessly.

Then she screamed.

There was something super scary over there.

She wasn’t even really clear on what it was.

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