Rampage of The Dragon of The Night (Dragon(s))


The Night Dragon pulled her truck up to the spot

Where The Dragon of the Night was rampaging,

Several miles away from where it had been rampaging

When she left the rampage

Some time ago.

Said Dragon of the Night was plucking giant, irreplaceable redwoods,

Each hundreds of feet tall,

Out of the ground,

And throwing them into a giant bowl of soup

Which it had constructed

Out of a college football stadium

And a bunch of flaming gasoline.

While it was destroying some of the wonders of the natural world

It was also accidentally slapping fighter jets

And bomber jets

And puncher jets

And kicker jets

Out of the air with its tail

Because it was a really dangerous dragon monster is the point I’m trying to make here.

You didn’t want to mess with it.

The Night Dragon,

Undaunted because she’d suffered a head injury in one of her motorcycle crashes

And was left unable to experience the sensation of daunting,

Parked at the base of The Dragon of the Night

And yelled up to the destructive force beyond the limits of the imagination.

“Hey!  Cell service is fixed!  And I brought you a new phone!”

Even though its ears were several miles away,

The Dragon of the Night was especially sensitive to any mention of phones

Because it was addicted,

And thus it stopped what it was doing and turned to look at the

Aircraft carrier-sized cell phone that The Night Dragon had dragged to its feet.

Pokemon Go had already been loaded up

And was on the screen

Waiting for The Dragon of the Night to start catching things.

But The Dragon of the Night scoffed.

“I’ve moved on,”

Said it, scoffing scoffily.

“I decided the simplistic gameplay and lack of any immersive multiplayer stopped that game from being any more than a passing novelty.”

The Night Dragon would have been daunted just then,

Because her plan had failed,

But we’d already established that she had a medical condition

Wherein she could not be daunted

Even if she tried to be daunted

Which she wasn’t doing

Because no one in their right mind would ever try to be daunted;

That wouldn’t even make any sense.

So she said:

“But they just released Generation two!”

The Dragon of the Night paused.


Though it had been completely sure just a moment before

That it was done with that stupid game,

It thought Phanpy was just about the cutest thing possible.

And it seemed,

For a moment at least,

Like the rampage might be over.

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