The Limited-Time Offer of the Night (Dragon(s))


The Night Dragon crashed
Her second stolen motorcycle
Into the revolving door
At the front of the MacGuffin Brands Giant Cell Phone Emporium.
The motorcycle exploded,
Blowing the door (which was unlocked) to pieces
Thereby allowing The Night Dragon to enter
Once she pulled herself up off the pavement
And verified that she only had a few broken bones.
Immediately upon entering the MacGuffin Brands Giant Cell Phone Emporium,
Which had recently renamed itself to The Night Dragon Brands Giant The Night Dragon Cell Phone The Night Dragon (the new signs weren’t finished yet),
The Night Dragon was accosted by twelve different sales representatives
Each of whom said some variation of the following words:
“Welcome to The Night Dragon Brands Giant The Night Dragon Cell Phone The Night Dragon,
Formerly known and MacGuffin Brands Giant Cell Phone Emporium.
We all work as a team here and pride ourselves on our
low pressure sales environment.
With that said,
Can we interest you in a The Night Dragon 5: The Night Dragon phablet?
If you buy in the next four seconds it’s only $1.25.
Though, sadly, while I was talking, that promo expired
And now the price is $140,002,700.
Luckily for you we have a flash sale starting in twelve second
Which lowers the price back down to $999.99
With purchase of any thirty accessories,
And nine supplemental accessories,
And service plan,
And maintenance plan,
And service maintenance plan,
And under coating,
And undertaking,
And fish maintenance plan,
And The Night Dragon plan,
Along with a low-low one-time fee
(due every month during your regular billing cycle)
Of $600,000.”
The Night Dragon punched one of these sales people in the face at random
Just to make the insanity stop.
They seemed to get the message.
Then she said:
“I need your biggest cell phone in order to save the world from The Dragon of The Night.”
The sales team gasped in unison.
“Surely you can’t afford our biggest cell phone,”
Said they, all at the same time,
Which was creepy.
“But I can,”
Said she,
“Which I will prove to you just as soon as you get me the phone.”
They conferred amongst themselves for about seven years
Before finally deciding that they liked the cut of her gib, and would
Agree to get her the cell phone before she paid for the cell phone
For the low, low, one-time, low, once-in-a-lifetime, low again, price of $3,412.211211212112121211111.
While they were conferring like that,
The Night Dragon chose to take matters into her own hands.
She went in the back of the store and stole a cell phone
That was roughly the size of an aircraft carrier.
Using a hydraulic lift that she had handy for some reason,
She threw the thing onto a truck that was parked inside the store
And big enough to carry the giant phone,
And drove the whole thing out of the place,
Running over several motorcycles in the process.

Show Buttons
Hide Buttons